Sunday, October 2, 2016

Why I Journal



I almost didn't post today.
I almost called the whole thing off.
There's a lot of reasons.

Time was a big factor. I am in the middle of a crazy busy season. I am prepping for my bi-annual sale which means I have 5 weeks to finish making 200 dolls and accessories. I just started watching a neighbor girl in the morning before school. My friends needs help with her daughter this week. Time always feels in short supply.

And then came the call. The kind of call that makes you look at things and question what really matters in life. The kind of call that makes you want to scrap everything and spend the day in bed with your kids holding them close. The kind that makes you call your mom and dad just to say I love you for the million and tenth time.

And I can use it all as an excuse not to write. There are always excuses if you go looking for them. Or I can use it as a reminder. I reminder of WHY I write, and more specifically why I journal....

Because Stories Matter

I said this in yesterday's post and I will probably say it again before the month is over. I come from a family of story tellers. My dad is a fourth generation pastor so you could say it's in my blood. Put us all together for longer than 30 minutes and some one will start telling a story, you can count it. I firmly believe that stories matter. I believe stories are what give our life context and meaning. Stories connect us. They remind us of our shared roots and experiences. They help point us toward share goals. For me, journaling is a way of recording stories. It's the main reason why I have not just a personal journal but a memory journal, something my kids can look at some day and perhaps see that they aren't alone in their life experiences.  It's a big reason why I journal but it's not the only one...

Because I Need an Ebenezer

Ebenezer
noun: a commemoration of divine assistance.

I journal to remember. In the most basic way I want to remember when my kids took their first steps, funny things they said, and what year my mom gave one of them a creepy, laughing baby doll for Christmas.
On a deeper level I journal to remember what God has done. I am like Israel and easily forget the goodness of my Savior.
My journals act as a reminder of where I have been and what God has done.
In dark seasons my journals remind me of God's goodness and love.

Because I am an Extrovert

I find it interesting this current trend of associating journaling with introverts. As if they have the corner on reflection and the written word. I hate that stereotype. I am an extrovert and proud of it. I also cannot function with out journaling. Out of my family of eight I am one of two extroverts (my mother being the other one). Out of six good friends in high school in only three of us were extroverts. As an extrovert surrounded by introverts journaling gas been a life line. I process life by talking. Journaling has always been my way of "talking things out" when all my lovely introverts are maxed out on my extreme energy.

Because I am Created to Create

I was once told "Find what it is that you CANNOT NOT do, and do that."
Words and stories are what drive and feed me. My passions, my interest, my spiritual gifts, my ministries can all boil down two those to things. I cannot not write. Blog posts, journals, letters, instragram captions. I was created  to create with words. In a boarded sense, creativity feeds my soul and journaling allows me to combine words with pretty things and make something that truly makes my heart happy.

A Note On Perfectionism

I never thought of myself as a perfectionist until I met my husband. He was one of the first people to point out my annoying habit of not doing things unless I believed I could do them "perfectly." Journaling forces me to get past that. For some one who loves writing, I have horrible spelling. My grammar is far to weak for some one who spent four years studying journalism. It is easy to be discouraged when I look at beautiful journal spreads on pinterest or instgram. But I move past those things because of the value I have found. I strive to let go of my perfectionism because I believe that stories matter, because I want to remember, because it's how I processes life, and because I was created to write and create.

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